I rest my (suit)case

A word about ruthless exploitation from an outraged airline customer.
In October I sail from Barcelona to New Orleans.
This means I have to fly one way to Barcelona from Manchester.
The luggage allowance is limited to 20kg and inadequate for a 26-day trip with formal dress a necessity.
So I enquired about the cost of another an additional 12kg.
The answer was £120.
This seemed disproportionate, since I can book a seat on the flight for £69 so I enquired if I could legitimately book a second seat.
Delighted to take my money, a customer service representative at Monarch Airlines advised me to put a dot after my surname, so it could go undetected as a second booking.
“Great”, I thought, “I’ll book another seat and check-in another case.”
Oh no I can’t – the luggage allowance is associated with the individual and not the seat.
In days gone by, it was cutpurses, footpads and mountebanks who asked you to, “Stand and deliver”. I rest my case.

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